I met Dennis 2 years ago during the Christmas period. He showed me this book, “The Go-giver“, which he bought for every employee in his company. It was only recently that I got to read the book.
It is written as a fiction story but with the intention to elicit certain principles of success.
As I read, I recollected what Dennis shared with me during our conversation 2 years ago. I have also found the cause for my personal flaw from the book. It is indeed powerful.
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We asked 14 Singapore finance bloggers to share what they would do if they could go back in time and invest their first $20,000. They can no longer rewind time, but you can learn from their experience and hopefully start with a better footing.
Joe was a young and ambitious salesman who was a goal oriented person. His interest in life was about excelling in his job and earn as much money as possible. It was also through this goal-getting behaviour, he met a wise old man who eventually became his mentor. This old man taught him 5 laws that would make him successful in life. It was not only about achieving more, but also about enriching every area of his life. Joe utilised his lunch time to meet the mentor and a different guest everyday, for 5 days. Each day, he would learn one law and he was to take action that very day. If he failed to do so, he would not meet the mentor again. This was the condition he had to fulfilled.
Quotes from the book (I lifted these quotes that are useful for me. You will find something relevant for you as you read the book):
“I believe that a person can reach a certain level of success without being particularly special. But to get really big, to reach the kind of stratospheric success we’re talking about, people need to have something on the inside, something that’s genuine.”
“Now, by a network I don’t necessarily mean your customers or clients. I mean a network of people who know you, like you and trust you. They might never buy a thing from you, but they’ve always got you in the backs of their minds… They’re people who are personally invested in seeing you succeed, y’see? And of course, that’s because you’re the same way about them. They’re your army of personal walking ambassadors… you’ll have referrals coming your way faster than you can handle them.”
“But most of the time, what people call ‘win-win’ is really just a disguised way of keeping track. Making sure we all come out even, that nobody gets the advantage… When you base your relationships – in business or anywhere else in your life – on who owes who what, that’s not being a friend. That’s being a creditor… Watch out for the other guy. Watch out for his interests. Watch his back. Forget about fifty-fifty, son. Fifty-fifty’s a losing proposition. The only winning proposition is one hundred percent. Make your win about the other person, go after what he wants. Forget win-win – focus on the other person’s win.”
“They love to give. That’s why they’re attractive. Givers attract.”
The 5 laws of stratospheric success (click here for pdf version released on the blog of the authors)
The Law of Value:
Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
The Law of Compensation
Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
The Law of Influence
Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
The Law of Authenticity
The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
The Law of Receptivity
The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
It was the law of influence that I realised the crux of my weakness in inter-personal skills. I did not show sufficient genuine interest in other people’s lives. What comes around, goes around. If I do not show care and concern for others, they would in turn not bothered about me. The world does not revolve around me and I must make an effort to shift the axis on others. No man is an island, what good is success if I have no one to share it with.
A conversion between Joe and his mentor struck me. Joe explained his true agenda of meeting his mentor was to seek the opportunity to secure a business contract with him. However, his mentor replied, “… that wasn’t the reason you came to see me. You only thought it was the reason you came to see me… You were hungry to learn about success. Genuine success.” Initially, I met Dennis with the intention to see if we could collaborate for my blog. Thinking back, that may not be the real reason. Subconsciously, I wanted to meet him because I want to learn about how he became successful.
I was and I am hungry for success.